Balancing being an artist, running a business, and maintaining a personal life is a lot trickier than I thought it would be. On one hand, being my own boss gives me something that is important to me: autonomy. It affords me the ability to make my own hours for however long I want to. With this, however, comes other pressures and problems.
The Pressure
We do a lot of markets, juried shows, stock brick-and-mortar stores, and sell online but, in order to make sales, I have to create. There is ever-looming pressure to create things that people want to buy. The physical demands of shows (packing and unpacking the cars, traveling, setting up, selling, and breaking down) are extremely taxing as well sometimes leaving us too tired to even unpack the cars when we get home.
Trying to balance taking on enough shows to make the business profitable, working full time during the week, and being a parent doesn’t always leave enough time for enjoying life. The physical exhaustion starts to take its toll and, at some point you need to slow down and take a breath and breathe.
The Problems
Last year, for the first time in years, I came down with the flu. It was painful and the shivers were so strong that my body was sore for days. With fevers spiking I would become excessively tired and delirious. The markets didn’t stop, though, and we still had products to be made and sold. Work-life balance was impossible. When you are working a traditional job you can take sick time. I no longer have that luxury because, if I don’t create, there is no business. Luckily we had plenty of inventory so although I had to take a week off we still had inventory.
More recently (three weeks ago to be exact) I was in the hospital. I was pregnant and developed a blood clot that turned into a pulmonary embolism. This wasn’t even something I knew to be concerned about. But there I was, having had a hard time breathing for about a week, I couldn’t even walk 10 feet to the bathroom. Figuring it was due to the pregnancy, or because I was starting an exercise regimen, I went to bed. After a nap, I attempted to go back to work, and I nearly lost consciousness. My doctor sent me to the Emergency Department, I was admitted for four days, and now I am taking blood thinners daily. It is an injection and it HURTS, it stings, but I was told it was the safest for my baby.
One week later I found out that our baby had stopped growing. I had miscarried again and I had to have surgery. To say we are devastated is an understatement. Physically I am healing, but mentally and emotionally it will take much longer to heal. Through all this, though, there is still a business to run. We have markets and shows planned and life has to go on.
The Solution
My therapist says I handle things with distraction. Creating has always been my reprieve, my constructive outlet to vent my frustrations and occupy my mind to prevent it from going a million miles an hour. Creating helps me think about all the big and little things. So I got back into my workshop and started creating again. The memories are still painful. Being an artist, however, allows me to create things, which gives me the ability to pour my energy into something beautiful. Working simply brings me joy and gives me a sense of accomplishment. When I create a piece that I love, I am happy. When I create a piece that someone else will love I am even happier.
Learning new techniques, creating new products, creating new art: all these bring me personal and professional joy. Working on new ventures with other artists I have met since I started the business brings me hope, and excites me for possibilities for the future.
Balancing “work” and life can be tricky, hard, and often impossible. I am lucky to have Brian, who is my partner in all things: business and personal. He keeps me grounded and serves as my professional, artistic, and personal compass. I also have you, my readers, customers, and fans to keep me motivated. Thank you for your support, and encouragement, and, as always, stay unique.
